Let's have a wee natter about Ziyad Larkeche, born and bred in the wine and cheese paradise of France, on the 19th September 2002. A sprightly 22-year-old, he gifted himself an interesting pathway in the world of footballing mayhem. The lad tends to ply his trade as a left-back - an often thankless role, perhaps made less so by his comfortable height of 5ft 11in (1.82m) and a semi-athletic weight of 10st 7lbs (67kg). When he's not running down sticky toffee papers on the pitch, you will find him sporting the number 21 jersey for Dundee.
Some number-crunching football nerds over at Transfermarkt currently value this fellow at around a meagre £430k. I can barely hold back my welling tears. Oh, and in case you're setting your clock by it, his lovely Dundee contract ends on the life-changing day of the 31st May 2025. Not that he's counting, of course.
Larkeche's journey is as glamorous as a wet November weekend in Dundee. Back in July 2020, he had the audacity to sign for Fulham, bringing his continental flair and savoir-faire to the hallowed pitches of England's Premier League. For reasons probably related to bacon butties and drizzly afternoons, he decided to take an extended tour of Britain and go on loan to Barnsley in League One back in September 2022.
After turning his nose up at the eccentrics of Barnsley for a brisk 12-match stint, our dear Ziyad undertook a magnanimous transfer to Queens Park Rangers in the Championship the next year. His 20 first-team appearances during the 2023-24 season were quite the spectacle; it's a wonder the lad didn't receive a standing ovation at every corner shop he sauntered into.
In a twist nobody saw coming, Larkeche journeyed north of Hadrian's wall to join Dundee in Scotland's Premiership on loan in July 2024. He's managed to amble onto the pitch for 14 first-team appearances thus far and even found it in his heart to tap the ball into the net three times. One can hardly contain the excitement. During the 2024-25 season, he also managed a couple of starts in the League Cup and made a single, ephemeral appearance in the Scottish Cup. What a hero.
