Today folks, we bring you the undulating tale of Rabbi Matondo. This likely lad, born in England on the 9th of September 2000, is a 25-year-old forward who's better known over in the realm of Rangers as a left winger, sporting the number 17 jersey like a billboard of mediocrity. He clips the scales at about 66kg (10st 5lb) so he doesn't need a forklift to get around the pitch, and his altitude clocks in at about 1.75m (5ft 8in) to ensure he's just tall enough to headbutt most people's chest.
Our Matondo started his illustrious journey back in July 2016, toddling his way into a training deal with Manchester City. He then decided to widen his horizons (and possibly his bank account) by joining Schalke 04 in Germany's 2. Bundesliga in January 2019 for a tidy sum of around £8.1m, according to Transfermarkt. He didn't exactly set the world aflame with his debut season, managing a paltry seven first team appearances in league matches. Over the next two seasons, his pitch activity included making a grand total of 23 appearances and netting two goals in the process.
In a magnanimous gesture, Schalke 04 then decided to loan him out to Stoke City in the Championship in January 2021. He laced up the boots for ten first team appearances, during which he found the back of the net a whole one time. Not exactly setting the Championship alight now were we, Rabbi?
In August 2021, in a not so shocking twist, Matondo found himself on loan again, this time to Cercle Brugge in Belgium. 26 appearances later, his goal tally stood at nine, which, it has to be said, is a veritable banquet compared to his previous seasons.
After spending enough time bouncing around geographically to get a decent amount of air miles, Matondo was transferred yet again, this time to Rangers up here in the Premiership in July 2022, for rounded down sum of £2.7m. At his new digs, he managed to rack up a total of 44 appearances over the course of three seasons, netting seven goals in the process.
In January 2025, Rabbi found himself pacing German soil yet again, this time with the Hannover 96 club, still adding pins to his footballing travels map. His German encore resulted in ten appearances and another singular addition to his goal collection.
Finally done with his globetrotting antics (for now, at least), Matondo returned to Rangers in June 2025, proceeding to do absolutely bugger all for the current 2025 - 2026 season. Something tells me he may have forgotten he's supposed to be playing football, not touring the world.
But, in a surprising twist for all of us not paying attention, our Rabbi managed to make it onto the international stage, playing for Wales in the World Cup Qualifiers Europe between 2024 - 2026. He mustered one goal in three substitute appearances. A shining star he might not be, but at least he's out there giving it the old college try, eh?
