Meet Óscar Cortés, a chap born somewhere in the wilds of Colombia on the 3rd of December 2003; yes, that makes him 21-years-old, a wee thing by all accounts. He's a footballer, would you believe it, and gets a kick out of playing forward, though mostly finds himself hustling on the left wing for our dear enemies, the Rangers. Cortés stands at a princely 1.76m - 5ft 9in in old money - and tips the scales at a svelte 74kg or 11st 9lb for those of us still counting in stones. They've given him the number 7 jersey, bless them.
According to the oracle that is Transfermarkt, he's worth an arm and a leg in the current market, about £3m in our dear Sterling. He's on borrowed time at Rangers, with his contract due to run out like a flat pint of ale on the 30th of June 2025.
Way back in the summer of 2023, Cortés left his native Millonarios in the Primera A in Colombia, transferring his allegiances to Lens in France's Ligue 1 for a tidy sum of £3.9m. Clearly, our Colombiano found the camembert to his liking - in the 2023-2024 season at Lens he appeared in four first team matches and knocked one goal into the back of the opposition's net.
But the winds of change blew again for Cortés - in February 2024 he packed his kit bag and skipped off from Lens to Rangers. In Scotland, he logged six timesheets with the first team in the 2023-2024 season and scored a goal, perhaps frightening a few goalposts. Fast forward to the present 2024-2025 season, and Cortés has made eight first team appearances in league matches.
Not one to miss out on an opportunity, he even took a short jaunt onto the pitch in the 2024-2025 League Cup for Rangers, making a singular appearance as a substitute.
