Delightfully, we find ourselves discussing Oliver Antman, a Finnish lad born 15 August 2001, recently found loitering on the right-wing of Rangers' attack. A towering figure at six feet (1.85m) and carried forth by what one generously imagines to be mostly muscle - all 11 stone, 6 pounds (73kg) of him. He sports the number 18 on his back—a number stereotypically given to the semi-fancied new boy and less to established star players.
Our splendid friend Antman's football journey has seen him kick about in a few modest leagues before reaching our dear Scottish Premiership. Transfermarkt values him, perhaps optimistically, at around £5 million.
Imagine the glory, join me will you, in 2018 when Antman sauntered away from Finnish Veikkausliiga side IF Gnistan to Denmark's Superliga heavyweights FC Nordsjaelland, for a princely sum of £45,000.
Spanning over six seasons for Nordsjaelland, before anyone could mutter 'who?', young Antman found the back of the net an earth-shattering 13 times in 90 appearances. One should not jest, it's spectacularly underwhelming. Briefly in 2023, he fluttered over to FC Groningen in the Eredivisie for a loan spell—a holiday, if you like—netting two goals in 11 outings before realising the bitter Dutch winters weren't for him.
At this juncture, do permit me to clarify an injection of price inflation in the football market, apparent when Antman moved back to the Eredivisie in 2024, joining Go Ahead Eagles for a fee of £1.3 million - surely a glaring example of reckless expenditure. Yet, he made an impression. Almost like a child who finally learns to wipe their own noses, he scored six times in 32 league appearances.
The nouveau-riche Rangers decided such dazzling mediocrity was worth a punt, so they scooped Antman and his goal scoring hunger with £3 million of their hard-begged money. Currently, he has managed a paltry three appearances. Quite the bargain for the Glasgow side.
The Finn's national side pulled him up for duty on numerous occasions, with Antman netting four goals in national colours across World Cup Qualifiers, Euro Qualifiers, and the Nations League. Furthermore, a ride in the Champions League qualifiers with Rangers. Perhaps, this is a sign of things to come or a cry for help from the Finnish national team. Only time shall tell.
