Our Michael, or Mikey Moore as he prefers, was cobbled together from the genetic pud of England's green and pleasant lands on the 11th of August, 2007. A spry lad of only 18 years, Moore spends most of his time pretending to be a left winger for Scotland's illustrious Rangers. Standing about 5ft 10in on his tip-toes (or for those who dabble in the dark arts of the metric system, a mere 1.8m), and tipping the scales at a skint under 12 stone (that's 75kg for you continental types), the lad is built more like a greyhound than a stallion, but let's not split hairs.
The worth of our young whelp? Well, judging by his threadbare performances, I would say a fiver and a packet of crisps. However, those brainboxes far more in the know than I am over at Transfermarkt reckon he's bagged a valuation of £14m. Expensive crisps, I say.
Anyways, it all began for Moore back in the summer of 2022 when he decided to lug his kit bag over to Tottenham Hotspur. Let's say it was not exactly a story book beginning. The lad got a measly two appearances in his debut season followed by a dizzying ten appearances in the season following. Must have been tough for him, getting splinters in his backside from all that bench warming.
Fast forward to the swirling wud of football transfers and young Mikey found himself ferried off from Tottenham to our frosty shores, landing with Rangers on, what we are told, is a loan basis. Now in the 2025 - 2026 season, Moore has clocked up 18 first team caperings, netting 3 goals. I suppose that’s an improvement, but then even a stopped clock is right twice a day.
His Scottish adventure, such as it is, has seen him prance about in the League Cup with two starts and a cameo role as a substitute, a fleeting moment in the Scottish Cup, one blink-and-you-miss-it appearance in the Champions League Qualifiers, and a slightly more noticeable jig in the Europa League with three starts and four appearances as a substitute. Time will tell if Moore will amount to any more than this, but for now, we'll just keep our cynical eyes peeled and our tartan tongues sharpened.
