For those ensnared in the riveting world of Scottish football, the name Matt Smith conceivably rings a bell. Born in the land of black-and-white Golden Age films and double-decker busses on the 22nd of November 1999, this now 24-year-old midfielder has spent his youth punctuating various football clubs with his unceremonious presence. Currently donning the number 22 jersey for St Johnstone, Smith cruises around the pitch at an average height of 5ft 8in (1.75m) and whisks around 11st 2lb (71kg) with every dash - vital information for the boot-top pundits, I'm sure.
If you’ve the audacity to care about the market value of this footballer, Transfermarkt flippantly estimates it at around £314k (converted from the evidently overused Euros). Just a paltry sum to attach to a man's career, don’t you think? Further, his contract with the unparalleled behemoth that is St Johnstone is touted to expire on the quite ordinary date of May 31, 2025, adding an air of potential drama to an otherwise soporific contractual chronicle.
In the misty times of yore – precisely July 2013 – Smith forsook civilian life to joined Manchester City as a trainee. Being considered an omissible component of the squad, he spent more time seeing the world on loan than staring at the benches of the Etihad. This globe-trotting saga commenced with FC Twente in the Netherlands in July 2018, where he demonstrated his utility by scoring two goals across 34 appearances in his debut season. Astonishing rate of 0.06 goals per game! Aren't we thrilled?
Back on home turf, Smith took his unmistakably average ball-kicking abilities to Queens Park Rangers in July 2019, only to grace the pitch a mere eight times that season. His reputation for mediocrity seemingly intact, another January saw him off to Charlton Athletic, where he added two more unillustrious appearances to his curriculum vitae.
Not one to rest on his laurels, Smith continued the grand tour-de-loan, landing at Doncaster Rovers in October 2020, and eventually at Hull City in August 2021. His uninspiring stint in Hull brought his career total of appearances to a staggering nine. Collections agencies probably have more appearances at his door, but alas, that's not our tale to tell.
In an audacious twist of events, January 2022 saw Smith unshackled from his loan servitude, as he transferred to MK Dons for an undisclosed fee - the best kind of fee, no? He racked up a modest two goals across 21 appearances over the season, presumably under the watchful eyes of a very drowsy spectatorship.
By August 2023, Smith spirited himself away to the raucous terrains of Scottish football, settling into a stint with St Johnstone. In the first season that saw more than one haggis change hands, he appeared 34 times, netting a single goal. The current season has been met with a similar level of enthusiasm, with Smith just about managing to wave at the crowd from the turf eight times to date.
In the dizzying world of cup games, our unlikely hero flashed his kit in the League Cup 2024 - 2025 four times from the starting position and once as a substitute. He also left an indelible mark on the Scottish Cup 2023 - 2024 with a solitary start. Truly, a tale for ages.
