Everything from the land of kilts and haggis is not a world class phenomenon, nor a pint of brew lathered in effervescence. For case in point, one only needs to cast the memory backwards to good old Matt Smith, born just before the Millennium (22 November 1999) to be precise, on a land not exactly known for haggis, Scotland's dear cousin England.
Smith is a midfielder by trade, whose heart throbs for St Johnstone. Standing at the height of 5ft 8in (1.75m for those besotted with the decimal system), he has a solid build of 11st 2lb (for those trapped in the weight-obsessed metric world, that's approximately 71kg). If you're out there scouting, find your chap donning the number 22 jersey. Shiny, isn't it?
Now, the footballing world demands a currency, not one that is backed by gold, dear reader, but a number flickering on some arbitrary website, which in this case, according to Transfermarkt, values him at a rather modest £340k. At the time of this commentary, Smith's services with St Johnstone are set to turn a chapter, with only 9 months left on his contract.
The lad's journey is nothing riveting, nor a tale that would inspire an overpriced club scarf. After a debut spell at FC Twente in the 2018-2019 season, Smith ended up playing for four different English clubs over the subsequent seasons. His contributions remain as forgettable as the teams themselves. By 2023 he found himself in the verdant highlands, amassing a bland tally of appearances and the odd goal for St Johnstone. In the current season 2024-2025, our dear Smith has already smeared his boots on the turf on six occasions.
Among the few trophies that the Scottish football scene has to offer, Smith has also humoured himself with a couple of starts and a substitute appearance in the League Cup 2024-2025 for St Johnstone and a fleeting dance in the Scottish Cup 2023-2024 for St Johnstone.
So there you have it, the customary age-old tale in the time-honoured tradition of football biographies. Haggis, anyone?
