Kenny Miller, a 44-year-old Scot given to the forward trade, and chest-high to your average door frame at 5ft 10in. Now don't be fooled by the 11st 2lb weight tag, he didn't carry an ounce of spare flesh at his prime – all of it was honed into muscle and sheer footballing talent.
Began his footie apprenticeship at Hibernian, later graduating to the rarefied environment of the Scottish Premiership. A quick jaunt to Stenhousemuir on loan and, for the princely sum of £2m, he found himself wearing the Rangers' blue come 2000. The less said about that, the better.
Had a fling with Wolverhampton Wanderers, initially on loan and then fully committed for £3m. He grafted hard and made a name for himself in the colder climes of England. Even so, he couldn't resist the lure of home and returned to the Scottish Premiership - though it's a shame it was with the wrong club.
Aye, he played with us at Celtic. It was a brief encounter – one season and a bit. But he netted a handful of goals and endeared himself to the green and white part of Glasgow, notwithstanding his patchy history. Surprisingly, he decided that Derby County was a place more suited to his talents and away he went for £2.3m in 2007.
His heart clearly belonged to the Scots, as evidenced by his third visit to Rangers a year later. A few stints further afield in Turkey, the USA, and a quick return to the home soil via Cardiff City led him back to Rangers a fourth time. We could always count on Kenny to ensure we never strayed too far from his thoughts.
A latter day pilgrim's progress of Livingston, Dundee, and Partick Thistle suggests Miller can't stay put. His career path resembles a Scottish football team bingo card, with watchers holding their breath to see where he'll mark next. Though his boots have been a little more quiet these days, we remember fondly when his were the only feet on the pitch that seemed to know the direction of the goal.
