For those who might not be privileged to know, Junior Hoilett, who graced this world with his presence on 5th June 1990 (making him a sprightly 34 years of age) in the magical land of Canada, is a forward primarily occupied with left wing duties for Hibernian. Standing at a respectable 5ft 8in (1.73m, if you're metrically inclined) and weighing in at 11 stone (or 70kg for those who'd like to think in kilograms), Hoilett sports the number 23 jersey.
Our dear Junior first found himself kicking a football in a professional context for Paderborn 07 in 2. Bundesliga, Germany, in July 2007. Twelve first team appearances and one goal saw him through the season, which may not have been stellar, but surely beggars can't be choosers.
Oh, and speaking of choosing, St. Pauli in the Bundesliga chose to have him in their ranks in July 2008, resulting in 26 first team appearances and six rather remarkable goals.
In July 2009, Blackburn Rovers in the Championship claimed him as their own. Apparently, they saw something in him that others didn't. Or perhaps, they were just desperate. Either way, he made a total of 81 appearances over three seasons, proving with 12 goals that he's not completely inefficient.
Trundling onwards, July 2012 had Hoilett transferring to Queens Park Rangers in the Championship, for an undisclosed fee (which we're sure is astronomically high). Five seasons at QPR meant 148 first team appearances and his scoring record swelling with 20 more goals.
After what seems like an eternity at QPR, Hoilett found himself at Cardiff City in the Championship, where he danced with the ball for five seasons, amenably scoring 23 goals in 173 appearances.
Then came Reading, another Championship club, undoubtedly thrilled at acquiring a seasoned journeyman like Hoilett. Two seasons there saw him strutting his stuff 61 times managing a meagre four goals - but hey, who's counting?
A hop-cross over the pond to Vancouver Whitecaps in the MLS ensued in September 2023, before returning back to the UK, this time to Aberdeen in the Premiership, Scotland, come February 2024. His stint was short but sweet with 13 appearances and two goals.
We are now at the labyrinthine end of this ecstatic journey in August 2024, where Hoilett finds himself slotted into the Hibernian squad, making 20 appearances so far, and scoring three goals to date in the Premiership, Scotland. Throw in one start and one substitute appearance in the Scottish Cup 2024-2025 season because we truly worry about your deep interest in Mr Hoilett's every move on the pitch.
And there you have it - a brief (or not so brief) tour of Junior Hoilett's illustrious football career, told as unenthusiastically as possible. We can only hope his future endeavours prove a wee bit more thrilling (though we won't hold our breath).
