Josh McPake, born on that memorable day of 31 August 2001, is a lad from our motherland of Scotland. As is the case with most living organisms, time does march on, making our dear Josh 24 years of age at present. Employed by St Johnstone - a club whose origins are shrouded in mystery to most outside its ever-loving faithful - he's a forward with a special fondness for the right wing.
Josh is a decent 6ft (1.83m in case you favour the continental way of measurement) and embarks on the battlefield sporting roughly 11st (70kg) of muscle and presumably some fat. His choice of battlefield attire is the jersey with the oft-ignored number 24.
Now, let's talk brass tacks. Our lad's market value, at present, is a piddling £85k (downgraded from €100k) or thereabouts, according to the vast knowledge base that is Transfermarkt. His stay at St Johnstone, subject to the whims of management and other variables, is due to expire on 31 May 2026.
In the summer of 2017, McPake tied his fate with the perennial troublemaker, Rangers. It was a windy road filled with free meals and empty promises before he started wearing the Dundee colours in August 2019. Following this, he got to show off his football dance moves at Greenock Morton, Harrogate Town, Morecambe, and Tranmere Rovers, in that order. A right trek around the islands it was.
Eventually, he landed at Queen's Park in July 2022, where he strutted his stuff in 27 first team appearances and netted three goals in league matches.
A 2023 summer fling with Rangers ended with McPake joining Stirling Albion before settling down with St Johnstone in July 2024. It has been a rollercoaster ride with St Johnstone, with Josh making a total of 18 first team appearances, scoring seven goals in league matches across two seasons.
In addition, let's not forget his appearance in the League Cup 2025 - 2026, where he scored in four starts and one appearance as a substitute. And his cameo in the Scottish Cup 2024 - 2025, where it seems he spent most of the time warming the bench.
Safe to say, it’s been a right ballet for our lad, McPake. Bless his cotton socks, and here’s to a less prance-ridden future.
