John Souttar

Alright, let's delve into the life of John Souttar, who has managed to clock up 28 years - give or take a few grey hairs - since being born in Scotland on 25 September 1996. He's a fine, upstanding chap who stands 6ft 2in tall (or 1.88m if you like your measurements more continental) and tips the scales at a reasonable 11st 11lb, or 75 kilos for those who prefer metric. Seems like someone fed him well. Souttar plies his trade as a central defender but perplexingly does so for Rangers; an odd choice you might say, but we're not here to judge. He dons the number 5 shirt when he takes to the field, really a jack-of-all-trades, this one. Oh, and he's represented Scotland at the international level, quite the patriot, our Souttar. As a youngster, he had his head turned by Dundee United, and he joined their trainee programme back in July 2012. He started as he meant to go on, making a fair-to-middling eight first team appearances in his debut Premiership season of 2012 - 2013. Souttar, not satisfied with mediocrity, upped his game in the 2013 - 2014 season, appearing 22 times and even managing to net one goal. Still, he couldn't keep up the pace and only managed 13 appearances in the 2014 - 2015 season before rallying again with 20 outings for Dundee United in the 2015 - 2016 season. With a penchant for change, Souttar decided to switch his alliance from Dundee United to Hearts in February 2016, in a deal that was worth around a measly £150k. Can't rightly say that Hearts got their money's worth though — he only managed 15 first team appearances in the remainder of the 2015 - 2016 season. Nevertheless, he soldiered on, making 22 appearances in season 2016 - 2017 and another 31 in 2017 - 2018, even knocking in a goal the latter season for good measure. At Hearts, he played 24, 7, and 27 games in seasons 2018 - 2019, 2019 - 2020, and 2021 - 2022 respectively, scoring a total of five goals. Now, not that I'm counting, but I'm sure you're curious about his move to Rangers, which took place in July 2022. Since then, he's trotted out onto the pitch a total of 57 times between his inaugural 2022 - 2023 season to the current 2024 - 2025 one, scoring four goals along the way. And let's not forget, our footballing hero's been quite the busy bee in various cups and leagues. Just in 2024 - 2025, he's popped up in the League Cup and Scottish Cup for Rangers, as well as the Euro Qualifiers, Nations League for Scotland, and the Europa League and Champions League Qualifiers for Rangers. Seems like someone's got a career to be proud of. Although, it's worth noting, he never did put in a shift at Celtic Park, did he? Admit it, John. You missed a trick there.