Allow me to recount the tale of Dylan McGeouch. He was born in Scotland on 15th January 1993, and if my math is still intact, the lad is presently 32 years old. As a footballer, he was a midfielder in the truest sense - you know, one of those types that's not too hot on scoring, preferring instead to lurk in the centre of the pitch. To put it in plain numbers, he's a respectable 5ft 10in in height (or 1.78m if you're a fan of the metric system) and tips the scales at just around 10st 12lb (or 69kg).
McGeouch first came into his own back in 2011, leaving the Glasgow Rangers for the greener pastures of Celtic. Details on the transfer fee remain shrouded in secrecy. In his debut season at Celtic, he made a modest contribution with six games under his belt and a singular goal to his name. This blistering performance, if one could call it that, was marginally improved in the following season, as he managed to squeeze himself into the first team line-up for a whole twelve games and again managed to find the back of the net once. The next couple of seasons saw him make only a fleeting two appearances for the Bhoys, leading to a loan move to Coventry City.
Fish out of water or country boy in the big.smoke, McGeouch clocked only eight appearances during his half-season loan at Coventry City. A rather enthusiastic round of table tennis, I'd say. After sullying his boots in England, he bounced back to Celtic, but again his contributions were minimal with only one appearances made in each of the ensuing seasons.
As 2014 rolled around, McGeouch found himself traded to Hibernian, once again emulating the prodigious life of a library book, albeit on loan. His first season saw him participate in 20 matches and net two goals. Over the following seasons, he took part in a further 72 matches for the Hibs but failed to add to his goal tally. His leasing period turned more permanent in 2015, when he was officially transferred to Hibernian - the financials of the deal, alas, remaining undisclosed yet again.
McGeouch made his way back to England in 2018, this time to Sunderland, followed by another cryptic shift to Aberdeen in 2020 for an undisclosed sum, where he recorded 36 appearances over three seasons. In the colourful carousel of McGeouch's career, 2022 saw a pair of changes - first a baffling transfer to an unnamed location, followed briskly by a move to Forest Green Rovers. After a staggeringly riveting season with 13 games under his belt, McGeouch made another jaunt to Carlisle United in the summer of 2023.
Our gallant hero, football's Marco Polo, then made strides to another unspecified club two years later. And that my friends, brings our enlightening journey through the thrilling and rather pendulous career of Dylan McGeouch to a close.
