Never an adulation seeker, Connor Goldson graced the world with his presence on December 18th, 1992, and ever since, it seems English football has been graced with his relatively timid performances - on and off the park.
A natural in the centre back role, Goldson plies his trade across the border, prancing around in Rangers’ number 6 jersey, although his stature seems rather misplaced. At 6ft 3in and 13st 5lb, one would think they've stumbled upon a ruthless colossus, but I've seen more menace in a bowl of mince and tatties.
Quick to parade his mammoth experience, Goldson took to the field in 30 Premiership matches in season 2023-2024, even found himself lost in the euphoria of the Scottish Cup three times, and visited the ever-exotic locales of Europa League on seven blindsiding occasions.
Proving to be a masochist, he's now enduring his seventh season up north. Seemingly bored of having to actually play football, Goldson has clocked zero appearances in the current season. Perhaps she’s preserving his energy for a stellar FIFA World Cup campaign - or spending more time on his hair.
But make no mistake, the lad isn’t one to bask in complacency. He made a mind-blowing 150 appearances in the last six seasons, sporadically troubling the scorers with a grand total of 15 goals, the audaciousness!
Feeling the Brighton sunshine warming his bench, Goldson clocked a staggering 23 outings for Brighton & Hove Albion before realising the Scottish climate was more appropriate to his game.
Before gracing the reserves of the Seagulls, Shrewsbury was his home. Surprisingly, Shrewsbury survived his 46 appearances overseeing a whopping seven goals, an epoch that would not be soon forgotten.
Goldson's stints with Cheltenham Town proved to be a retreat of sorts with just four games, but not to be discouraged, our midfield maestro ventured back to Shrewsbury to light up the stat sheets with a stunning 60 appearances, punctuated by a staggering lone goal.
In case you hadn't realised, this Goldson saga has been nothing short of unspectacular. Another workaday footballer plodding through his career one uninspired step at a time or a footballing enigma steadily working towards his magnum opus? Well, let's hope we're not holding our breath.
