Let us recollect the absorbing tale of one Cole McKinnon, a native Scotsman hatched into this merciless world on January 29th 2003, thrust unwittingly into a life of kicking a leather bag filled with air around a patch of grass. A lad who, at the tender age of 21, finds himself most at home in the middle of a midfield chaos for Rangers. Measuring 5ft 10in tall (or 1.78m for those insubordinate to an old trustworthy imperial system), he is a lanky figure of 11st 2lb (equivalent to 71kg for devotees of the metric system). One knows this chap's significance when he steps out in the venerable no. 48 jersey.
Reminiscing on his heart-stopping journey, one could get emotional, or rather, sigh exhaustingly. In a rather surprising March 2021 plot twist, our young hero was borrowed, like a neglected library book, and dispatched from the Premiership echelons at Rangers to the gritty bowels of League Two at East Fife. However, just as the East Fife faithful were getting used to his name, he was whisked back to Rangers in June, on completion of his loan period. I daresay, his time at Rangers has caught the eyes of exactly no one, with a measly one-club cameo in the debut 2021-2022 season, scoring the single goal - must've been a fluke. And the latest season? Well, apparently he's still there, warming the bench evidently.
These boresome tales do not end, as McKinnon was once again parceled out on loan to Partick Thistle of the Championship, in July 2022. However, it did seem that a bit more excitement was found during his 22 appearances for Partick, netting himself three goals even. Still, as all good (or in McKinnon's case, mediocre) things must come to an end, he was called back to Rangers from his loan in June 2023. Back to the bench he so clearly favours, seemingly making a solitary soul appearance in the 2023-2024 season, and zilch in 2024-2025. Riveting, isn't it?
The pinnacle of his so far charmless career arc? A single, likely forgettable, substitution appearance in the 2023-2024 Europa League for Rangers. Dear me, I do hope his future sobriquets will grow to involve more than just a "perpetual bench-warmer".
