Now we come to the fabulously unimpressive Clinton Nsiala-Makengo. I mean, who wouldn't remember this fine specimen, born on a frosty January day back in 2004 in the land of cheese, croissants, and strikes - France. The lad happens to be a defender, with Rangers currently bearing the brunt of his "talents". A strapping lad he is too, standing proudly at 6ft 2in (or 1.88m for you metric aficionados), and tipping the scales at a sturdy 13st 9lb (that’s 87kg to anyone under the age of 60).
In terms of globe-trotting ventures (or more accurately, the journey of mediocrity), our dear Mr Nsiala did a spell in Italy, landing at AC Milan after a rather forgettable stint with Nantes in Ligue 1. His wallet might've been grateful for that move, but I doubt AC Milan fans have much reason to remember him fondly.
The year 2024 saw Nsiala winding up in Scotland of all places, slumming it with the Rangers. His debut season was, well... let’s be generous and say, uninspired. With a grand total of 11 first-team appearances in league matches, he’s sure made a name for himself, hasn't he?
You might be asking if there's been any shine on this dull coin? Well, indeed there is! The lad made one start in the Scottish Cup during his debut season and wait for it... he scored a goal! Oh, the glory. Surely, that one goal against no-name opposition will be the stuff of drunken tales at the pub. The current season (2025 - 2026), however, seems to be a different tale, as Nsiala has yet to make appearances. Perhaps those in charge finally started watching the games?
