I give you one Bailey Rice. A footballer of even less note than obscurity, born in the land of the Scots on the fourth day of October in the year two-thousand-and-six. At this present moment, in the year of our Lord 2025, he's barely out of nappies... doesn't bode well.
Young Master Rice is a presumed midfielder, who can allegedly be seen clogging up the central defensive midfield for the Rangers league club. That is if you can spot him in the weeds. At just over 1.83 metres (for the metrically minded), or 6ft (for those clinging to the empire's measurements) he's not the most conspicuous of players. He's a mere sapling, one might say, weighing in at 71 kilograms (11st 2 lb for you fans of the old world). The lad wears the number 49, possibly in vain hope of inspiring thoughts of prospectors seeking gold. A sad case of mistaken identity, I fear.
Now let's examine the lad's record. In his first season for the Rangers, the epic year of 2022-2023, Rice graced the pitch for a whopping one first team appearance. Not content with this display of mediocrity, Rice went on to nearly double his tally in the 2023-2024 season, managing to carve out two first team appearances. Clearly, they're rationing the lad's talent, as we find ourselves in the current season of 2024-2025 wherein he's decided to return to his roots and made a single first team appearance.
Rice also took it upon himself to stumble through the Scottish Cup of 2024-2025 with one start and one substitute appearance. Showing his mastery of the bench, he also managed to pull off two appearances as a substitute in the Europa League of 2024-2025. Perhaps someone should tell him the aim of the game is to actually play?
There you have it ladies and gents, Bailey Rice... a player I'm sure you've scribbled at the top of your 'ones to watch list'. Or maybe, just maybe, fallen into the gulf of forgotten Rangers reserves.
